Sometimes we’re nice; sometimes we’re ice.

Length of flick 20:09

READ SYNOPSIS BELOW:
Invocation
Mysterious audio flashes: what am I getting myself into? What am I about to witness? A young boy’s face appears then an old man. This entire production documents that learning process… it addresses evolution, maturing, and the beauty that arrives with a fancy sort of aging.

Now that said: a mind’s once blue skies and healthy gold wheat can quickly turn into frosted leaves and cold snow – or an old broken down mess with gray hair and crazy eyes - if led to spiral out of control. Let us not neglect our wheat. It is bound to happen if we let it. I speak only from experience. A broken down cowboy appears, Gary Stenny, with a voice that is scratchy and somber yet hypnotizing. You want to hear more? You think to yourself: this old broken down cowboy is speaking in business lingo terms… what is going on? Where am I? Portland, Wyoming, the boardroom, the farm, heaven, hell?

The Invocation sets up a quick life story: sometimes people are nice to each other and sometimes people are not nice (to themselves or each other). This short is an exploration to that end; this whole bit is a metaphor for the world and me alongside it turning a page in 2008. Sometimes we are good; sometimes we are bad. Sometimes it is summer; sometimes it is winter. My hope for all of us is for the former and rest assured we all go through it; nothing is a mistake. 2009 is a clean slate. The future is bright. The future only goes where we choose to take it.

1979-2007
Background on childhood: Love, happy, joyful beginnings. A young boy being raised in Wyoming, where he learned the basics of life: soil, earth, sky, people, small town. Then he moved to Oregon, a place of opportunity, a place to see the big city. He had good parents and support from brothers and sisters. Art, music, church, holidays, and a lot that was positive raised him.

An alternative reflection on childhood: I was a troubled kid, I was a bit dark, I killed animals and I had nightmares and I drew a lot of twisted imagery. I asked a lot of questions. I had anger management problems, I had OCD, I was emotional and I was erratic. But, the positive aspects of my youth outshined the negative. Overall, I was content. I grew up, played sports, was a bit of an ignorant bull headed jock during puberty… and then, around the age of twenty I evolved into a softened, artsy, liberal, free thinking bastard. I started to doubt the world, I started to divert from my moral upbringing. I started to wonder and change my ways? I wanted to be someone/something else.

Adolescence: I started hand making wallets in Idaho 1998 and years later I opened a booth at Portland Saturday Market – it was going well so I decided to start a real business out of it in 2002. I plugged along, experimented, and then, years later with friends on an odd occasion, I toured an abandon mental hospital titled Dammasch; after that precious moment, everything shifted gears. I now saw possibility in everything. I wanted to explore even more. My mind was expanding rapidly - as my mind evolved, db clay evolved. I was excited to tackle the world – I didn’t know any better. Me = naïve and obstinate, so, my hand made crafts kept on keeping on. That said, the 30,000 wallets I’ve personally made since 98, were the result of anxiety, not my love for fashion. It was never about any of that. It was about having a project to work on.

I am blessed to have learned: things were going very well (even amidst the anxiety ridden undertones), and then, they took a little turn for the worse. I signed a deal in December of 2007 that ended up reeking havoc on me for 18 months to follow; that said I am to blame of course and no one else. There is/was no devil. I was cautioned by my lawyers not to sign, I did anyway, and I spent all of 2008 trying to satisfy my obligations stated therein. In my mind it became the cause of so much chaos – it was like a bullet hitting a bullet. I was a bee on drugs – buzzing around and stinging myself and all those around me. I was trying to find my way out of an endless maze. I was running into walls. 2008 was full of dirty laundry and it was definitely a downward slide for not only me, but also the world entire. I aged quickly. This scene sets up my life, my childhood experience, and my lessons learned, as I venture toward adulthood. 1979-2007 were formative years; 2008 put hair on my chest I suppose.

2008
My minds flowers were alive and well and then I ran into a problem; I stepped on a crack that broke someone’s back. To this day I am sorry! To no avail live flowers quickly turned to dead ones. I thought: keep going, that is how the cookie crumbles. Don’t worry about it; everyone gets his or her nose bloody sometimes. You want to keep going but you can’t. Your only option: go into your basement and hide for a while and sort things out. Hibernate, soul search, think about life and how you would do it differently. Think about how good you will feel after you do some laundry. The following six short stories sum up the year 2008 that I witnessed from within and subsequent emergence:

Slanted Gray
You are frozen and you need time to thaw. You need a break. You are sad to see things go but you are excited to relax, rejuvenate and you are excited for the ice to melt. You are buried in dark bushes. You are a dead rodent. Winter is here. You rest for a few winter months and then, you put your winter clothes on. It is time to plow through the snow. It is time for spring – you know it is on the way. It is time to lace up the boots and put the suit on. Yes, money does suck, but you can’t dwell on that. Forget about it. Get back to work. Break through your shell - shed that old layer of skin!

Motel Blue
Before we melt the ice though, let’s take a look back at where I was living when this all started. I was manic. I was living in a crazy 400 square foot hotel room in SW Portland. I was in the middle of a depressed tornado. I chose to live there on purpose: I wanted to discover new things; I wanted to be around odd people, I wanted to step outside my comfort zone. It was a good experience, but it really took a toll on me. Second hand smoke, broken glass at 4am, borderline halfway house, schizophrenic neighbors, fireworks, popped balloons. You need to move fella - you need to strain all of this suit out of the equation - you need to mold yourself into something else – you need to untangle the web you are in.

St Johns Fog
Wow! Who would have thought you’d find yourself in such a fog? You’re whole life you thought you had it figured it out… but now you don’t and now you can’t. You are all thumbs just like everyone else. You were alive and now you are dead simple as that… but what are you/we going to do about it? How are you going to grow leaves again? You are a frustrated old man… you are not a lively 29 year old. You are 115. You now know what your grandparents went through. You are a garage in disorder. You are a dried up fish. You need to cut off your head and start over. You need to shatter your old way of thinking. The ice is melting… put on some gloves and galoshes and get back to work. It’s time to plant a new garden.

Gold Leaves Curl
Do you see the sun peering through? I do! Your skin begins to shed and it is growing back. You are fresh. You are now gold not rusty. You realize that everyone makes mistakes – you realize you don’t live in a vacuum. You realize you need perspective. You realize you need to polish your exterior to make up for your ravaged interior. Plant flowers. Yes, the world is jacked right now but who cares? Isn’t it a kind of fun to watch it all crumble? It is time to start a new. It is time to untangle it all, it is time to burn it all. Relax. Put your feet up at night. Sleep well, it will be ok. Burn the ships gentlemen. Keep with it and you will be smiling in the end. Work hard, the ice will melt someday; only when is uncertain!!!!

Baktuva
As the ice melts, you need to get it together. You need to take off your disguise. You need to calm down. You need to find color again. You need to learn and teach others. You need to blossom. You need to rid yourself of all your prior juvenile mistakes. You need to blow your nose, put a seal of approval on it and move forward. Go… I know! Rearrange, retool, rethink, build a new staircase and climb it. You are bright, not dead; you are a blank slate not a white dust covered chalkboard. You are almost there, stick with it!!!

Left to Right
What this world needs right now is positivity. The darkest of days have come and gone. The trees are lighting up. Their leaves are growing back. The snow is melting. It’s time to get back into art. It’s time to float like a bubble. It’s time to chomp with gold shiny teeth. It’s time to celebrate life. Its time to realize your past mistakes are just that, past mistakes. Its time to forgive and forget. It’s time to look in a new direction. It is time to revert back to basics.
Conclusion: you made a bet and lost. Don’t make that same bet again. Move on. Turn the lights back on. Reopen the factory.

2009
Realization: you were dead, so what. It is time to come to life again. It is time to unlock all the doors again. It is time to cut out your own star. Heart, hands, mind, spirit! It’s time to lace ‘em up and get back to work. But, put gloves on; the wreckage is still hot. Use caution, be prudent, make no mistake. Winter is gone, it will come again, but for now, it is gone. Set a new table. Make a wish, build whatever you want, experiment, play, your hands are feet are clouds. You are a pink unicorn aka whatever you want to be. You now have a clean slate. We all do. Keep your house, open your eyes, gaze at the stars.

Benediction
It is the end of the roll for you. No more duct tape. No more nonsense. It is time to grow up. It is time to leave neverland. It is time to gain control of your OCD. It is time to get back to the basics. It is time to be economical. It is time to stretch. It is time to be resourceful. It is time to be wise. It is time to realize certain things in life matter and certain things don’t. Life matters, money doesn’t. We all learned a lot – now, go!